Understanding the difference between herself, herselves, and her self looks simple at first glance, yet these small phrases create a surprising amount of confusion.
Whether you’re a student polishing an essay, a writer refining tone,
or someone who simply wants crystal-clear grammar, mastering these forms helps your writing feel intentional, confident, and precise.
This guide dives deep into how each form works, why herselves isn’t a legitimate English word, and how her self expresses a totally different meaning.
You’ll also see real-world case studies, inclusive language notes, side-by-side examples, and a quick-reference table so you always know which form fits your sentence.
Let’s break it all down in a simple, engaging way.
Herself vs Herselves vs Her Self: Reflexive Pronouns in Plain English
Every reflexive pronoun in English connects an action back to the subject. When someone performs an action on themselves, we use the reflexive form of the pronoun.
Reflexive pronouns include:
- myself
- yourself
- himself
- herself
- itself
- ourselves
- yourselves
- themselves
The pattern looks like this:
pronoun + self/selves
But here’s where the confusion kicks in: herself fits the pattern, but herselves never does — because the base pronoun she doesn’t have a plural form.
Meanwhile, her self expresses an entirely different meaning that isn’t reflexive at all.
How Reflexive Pronouns Are Formed
English reflexive pronouns follow a predictable structure:
- Singular pronouns end in -self
- Plural pronouns end in -selves
Examples:
| Pronoun | Reflexive Form |
|---|---|
| I | myself |
| you (singular) | yourself |
| he | himself |
| she | herself |
| they | themselves |
| we | ourselves |
| you (plural) | yourselves |
Because she is always singular, its reflexive form is herself — never herselves.
A simple takeaway:
There is no plural version of “she,” so there can never be a plural reflexive like “herselves.”
Understanding “Herself”: The Only Correct Reflexive Form
“Herself” is the standard English reflexive pronoun used when the subject is “she.”
It serves two functions:
- Reflexive use
- Emphatic use
Let’s explore both.
When to Use “Herself” (Reflexive Use)
Reflexive meaning happens when a woman or girl performs an action on herself.
Examples:
- She taught herself how to code.
- The cat groomed herself for hours.
- Maria reminded herself to stay calm during the interview.
Reflexive use answers this question:
Is the subject doing something to herself? If yes, use “herself.”
Emphatic Use of “Herself”
Emphatic use highlights importance or draws attention to the subject.
Examples:
- She finished the entire project herself.
- The director herself approved the script.
- The bride baked the wedding cake herself.
Notice how dropping “herself” wouldn’t break the sentence — but it would lose the emphasis.
The Myth of “Herselves”: Why It’s Incorrect
“Herselves” appears occasionally online, usually from misunderstanding reflexive patterns. However, it’s not accepted in standard English, academic English, published writing, or professional communication.
Here’s why:
- She is singular
- Reflexives follow the base pronoun
- No plural form of “she” exists
Therefore, “herselves” doesn’t fit English grammar rules.
Incorrect vs Correct Usage Table
| Incorrect | Correct | Why |
|---|---|---|
| The girls prepared herselves for the match. | The girls prepared themselves for the match. | “Girls” takes the pronoun “they.” |
| Each woman checked herselves in the mirror. | Each woman checked herself in the mirror. | “Each” is singular. |
| The sisters planned everything herselves. | The sisters planned everything themselves. | “Sisters” is plural. |
If the subject is plural and refers to women, use themselves, not herselves.
Exploring “Her Self”: A Completely Different Meaning
Now here’s where things get interesting.
“Her self” isn’t a pronoun. It’s a noun phrase formed with:
- “her” (possessive adjective) +
- “self” (a noun)
This phrase refers to identity, personality, psychology, spirituality, or inner being.
Examples:
- The therapist encouraged her to reconnect with her self.
- The book explores her self as both a character and a symbol.
- She felt detached from her self after the long journey.
You’ll find “her self” in:
- philosophy
- therapy
- spirituality
- psychology
- memoir writing
“Herself” wouldn’t fit these contexts because the meaning shifts completely.
Quick Comparison: Herself vs Her Self
| Form | Meaning | Usage |
|---|---|---|
| herself | reflexive or emphatic pronoun | Grammar: She did it herself. |
| her self | identity, inner being, personality | Psychology/spirituality contexts |
If you mean the person as an individual, use her self.
If you mean she performed an action, use herself.
Examples in Context
Here are side-by-side samples to show how different these forms feel:
Herself (reflexive)
- She pushed herself to finish the final mile.
Her self (identity)
- She felt disconnected from her self after years of stress.
Herself (emphatic)
- The author herself attended the signing event.
Her self (philosophical)
- The poem reflects on her self as both fragile and powerful.
Inclusive and Respectful Pronoun Use
Modern English encourages clarity and respect when referring to someone’s gender or identity. Pronouns play a central role in helping others feel acknowledged.
When referring specifically to a woman who uses she/her pronouns, herself is the correct reflexive.
However, always use the pronouns someone personally chooses.
Examples:
- “Aisha uses she/her pronouns, so the correct reflexive is herself.”
- “Jordan uses they/them pronouns, so the reflexive is themself.”
Accuracy isn’t just grammar — it’s respect.
Examples of Inclusive Pronoun Usage
Here are clear, real-world examples:
- “Priya introduced herself at the meeting.”
- “Sam described themself as a visual learner.”
- “Alex and Maya organized the event themselves.”
Making the correct pronoun choice fosters clarity and inclusion.
Common Pronoun Mistakes to Avoid
Writers often stumble over reflexive pronouns. Here are mistakes you want to dodge:
Using reflexive pronouns as subjects
Incorrect: Herself went to the store.
Correct: She went to the store.
Adding -selves when it doesn’t belong
Incorrect: The woman prepared for the marathon by herselfves.
Correct: The woman prepared for the marathon by herself.
Mixing pronouns
Incorrect: Each girl thanked themselves.
Correct: Each girl thanked herself.
Confusing “her self” and “herself”
If the sentence expresses identity, use her self.
If it expresses action, use herself.
Case Studies: Grammar in Everyday Scenarios
Seeing grammar in real life makes these rules easier to remember. Here are three scenarios showing how “herself,” “herselves,” and “her self” show up (or shouldn’t).
Case Study: Academic Writing
Imagine writing a psychology paper:
- Correct:
“The patient distanced herself from negative influences.” - Also correct (identity focus):
“The patient struggled to reconnect with her self after the traumatic experience.”
Incorrect academic usage:
- “The patient reassured herselves that everything was fine.”
Case Study: News Article
Journalists prioritize clarity and accuracy. Consider this example:
Correct:
- “The CEO herself confirmed the data during the press conference.”
Incorrect:
- “The group of executives prepared herselves for the hearing.”
Correct version:
- “The group of executives prepared themselves for the hearing.”
Case Study: Informal Speech
Speech often slips into shortcut grammar, but here’s what proper usage looks like:
Correct casual speech:
- “She bought herself a new laptop.”
Identity expression:
- “She’s finally learning to trust her self again.”
Incorrect:
- “They helped herselves to the snacks.”
Correct:
- “They helped themselves to the snacks.”
When Pronoun Mistakes Happen — How to Handle Them
Everyone slips occasionally. The key is correcting gracefully.
Here’s how:
- Acknowledge quickly: “I meant she taught herself, not herselves.”
- Rephrase if needed: “Let me say that again for clarity…”
- Stay confident: A small correction doesn’t weaken your message.
How to Correct Others Politely
Use gentle, supportive language:
- “Just a quick note — the correct reflexive form is ‘herself.’”
- “I think you meant ‘her self’ there, since you’re talking about identity.”
- “This sentence would sound clearer as ‘themselves’ instead of ‘herselves.’”
Clarity and respect always win.
Language Evolution: How Identity and Grammar Intersect
English isn’t static. Pronoun usage changes as society grows more aware of gender identity and personal expression.
“Herself” has remained stable for centuries, but her self gained broader usage as psychology evolved. Meanwhile, reflexive forms like “themself” now appear in respected style guides and major publications.
Writers who understand these shifts communicate with precision and empathy.
Examples in Literature and Culture
Writers often use her self to explore inner identity. You’ll see it in:
- memoirs
- feminist literature
- spiritual writings
- identity-driven poetry
“Herself,” on the other hand, appears in nearly every genre because it’s a core grammatical tool.
Example from narrative writing:
- “In the quiet moments, she returned to her self, the part she had forgotten.”
Example from descriptive fiction:
- “She wrapped the shawl around herself and stepped outside.”
Each phrase creates a different emotional effect.
Quick Reference Guide: Herself vs Herselves vs Her Self
Use this table as your “at a glance” cheat sheet:
| Word/Phrase | Part of Speech | Meaning | Correct Use | Example |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| herself | Reflexive pronoun | Action or emphasis | When she performs an action on herself | “She taught herself piano.” |
| herselves | ❌ Not a word | Incorrect form | Never use | — |
| her self | Noun phrase | Identity, inner being | Psychology, spirituality, philosophy | “She rediscovered her self.” |
Do and Don’t Checklist
Do
- Use herself for reflexive or emphatic actions
- Use her self when referring to identity
- Use themselves for plural subjects
- Be mindful of inclusive pronouns
Don’t
- Don’t use “herselves”
- Don’t use reflexives as subjects
- Don’t mix pronoun forms
- Don’t replace identity-based “her self” with “herself”
FAQs
What does “herself” actually mean?
It’s the reflexive or emphatic form of “she,” used when the subject performs an action on herself or when emphasizing who performed an action.
Is “herselves” ever correct?
No. English has no plural form of “she,” so “herselves” isn’t grammatically valid.
When should I use “her self”?
Use “her self” only when talking about identity, personality, or inner being — not actions.
Can “her self” be used in everyday writing?
Yes, especially in emotional or psychological contexts, though it’s more common in reflective writing.
What’s the difference between “herself” and “her self” in a sentence?
“Herself” shows action or emphasis. “Her self” refers to identity. Swap one for the other and the meaning changes.
Conclusion
Understanding the difference between herself, herselves, and her self sharpen your writing instantly.
It helps you express identity clearly, keep grammar clean, and show respect when referring to others. “
Herself” remains the only correct reflexive form. “Herselves” never fits formal or informal English.
Meanwhile, “her self” highlights the deeper layers of identity that shape who a person is.
Mastering these small phrases makes your writing sound thoughtful, intentional, and polished.
With the examples, tables, and case studies above, you’re equipped to make the right choice every time.
I’m Alex Henry — a passionate English enthusiast who loves exploring words, grammar, and the art of expression. I share creative tips to help you fall in love with the English language every day.